Wierd Travel Vortex

I am in a weird haze of travel induced dementia. I’m not even really sure about the day of the week or date. I know that February is incredibly close and somehow January totally disappeared.

The last thing I remember was that Rob got a call that his father was in critical shape. I am pretty sure that was Thursday Jan 12 th. I was at work on Friday the 13th and had a flight that pm to Raleigh for Chelles’ shower. Wait – that’s where it all starts. Friday the 13th. I should have seen that one coming.

While at work on the 13th Rob and I decided to fly to Boston on Sunday the 15th , so when I flew for Raleigh to BWI on Sunday the 15th I just stayed at the airport. Fortunately Rob was able to pack a few sweaters coats and clean boodongas for me since I was packed for the balmy Southern weather.

The shower was a blast, I got to see all of Rachelles friends and spend time with Kev. She is so pregnant and cute, it’s overwhelming. They shared some baby names with me and I was incredibly flattered that they felt comfortable telling me the secret names they had not told another soul on the planet; Cryin Ryan O’Brien – just kidding….. The shower was a surprise so Kev told Chelle that I was on business travel and had a layover in Raleigh to justify my being there. I went along with the lie and told her I was coming home from Pine Bluff because it was a lie that could easily be reality. HA

The trip to Boston was definitely the Yin to the showers Yang. Rob’s dad was in horrible shape, I did not know that people can survive on only 3 or so breaths per minute. He did not last long in that shape but at least Rob had family around him for the event. It was profoundly sad but almost a relief to know that Lloyd was not in pain or in that horrible incoherent limbo of being barely there. As we were leaving the hospital an interesting thing happened. I felt the finality of never seeing him again and my emotions were starting to get away from me and then the fire alarm went off. I felt like it was some kind of explanation point to the last time Rob and his father would be together. When I told G that she reminded me of when Poppa died and the garage door slammed. I know that they are coincidences but I also like to think that there is something behind them.

At some point during all this I had a birthday - not much of one but it was there none the less. I got myself a massage for my birthday the day after Lloyd died and that did the trick. While in Raleigh, Kevin gave me a little bottle of the Cap’n and a gift card so I at least got a presnid. The bottle came in particularly handy in Cambridge. Another saving grace was the hotel had a Starbizzy in the lobby and a whole foods and liquor store next door. We found a bottle of Elu’ by St Suprey which is our favorite vineyard and wine from our honeymoon so that felt like a little bit of a comfort and felt like a birthday special.

As we were packing and checking out on Wednesday the 18th we got the call that the funeral service would be on Saturday the 21st. Part of me thought we should have stayed in Cambridge and the other ½ desperately wanted to get home. Rob wanted to get home too, thank God. We got 2 weird hazy days at home to decompress a little bit before Saturday the marathon flying day. Rob spent most of his time sleeping, poor fella.

I worked from home on Thursday and that was a great way to ease back into the real world but when I got to work on Friday I was given some really bad news. We have to lay off a large chunk of staff in ….. Pine Bluff Arkansas! My lie from some time in the past! . I pleaded for some mercy so we flew out on Monday. HA! Some mercy, give me a break.

We were fortunate, the travel gods smiled upon us for the trip to the Cape on Saturday the 18th. We took the first flight up and the last flight home. No delays, no traffic and flights that arrived EARLY! We had talked about what we want when we die, burial vs cremation and on the way I voted burial and Rob voted cremation. Now that the event is behind us I think we are both on the same page with the burial. We felt like there was really no kind of closure or saying goodbye. The event seemed empty. Maybe it felt empty because Rob didn’t have a lot of family there but I think it was empty because there was nothing to say goodbye to. Just a flag, 2 candles and 4 bouquets.

Well, I am sitting on a plane en route to Pine Bluff. I got up this morning at 5:00 am and originally will get home tomorrow at 11:30 pm. It’s actually a relief since they indicated they wanted me to stay until Friday. I am happy to get home tomorrow, it’s ironic, when we were traveling to Boston the first time I kept thinking (jokingly) that I will be able to relax in February, never truly realizing how true that is. February is this week…. I think … and maybe I will get a chance to relax next week. Maybe we can even celebrate a birthday if I don’t have a total melt down or shut down on this trip.